Life is a series of hard choices and hard moments, and then you die. What makes you who you are, what defines you as a person, the very essence of your being is how you react to that series of hard moments. It also defines what other people talk about you after you die.
At least that`s how I see it.
Here`s to living life!
Such an important personal lesson for me, and one I have been learning for years now. Everyday, I see that I have more to learn on this, clearly a case of the more I know, the more I know I don`t know and should :))
To be fair, I really believe I made a lot of progress in understanding “The others”, “The many many Others” in my life, especially if I am to compare with the Alex back in 07, before joining AIESEC.
Hmm, I still remember one summer in 08, when I called my “training coach” back then, Iulian Olariu, great AIESEC alumni, and asked him ” How can I work with fluffy people? I feel that I have a challenge with listening to them, and understanding them, and generally being in a team with them” :))). His answer, first off, was: ” Alex, you just made the first step, realising you have this issue, which is more than most people do”. Ahh, he has his way with words :)).
In the next months, and most notably, during my very hard LC EB experience, I`m proud of how much I challenged and changed this part of me, the part that didn`t understand how other people behave, and more importantly, didn`t understand everyone`s role within a team, didn`t understand that there is no real Right or Wrong in being fluffy or not.
I remembered this after Elizabeth Lessers Exceptional talk about:
Take “the Other” to lunch
Then, right as I was getting near the end of the talk, the new MCP of AIESEC Nigeria adds me on Skype, and we start talking about a very Strong Paradigm of “the Other” that I formed in Romania, in regards to Nigeria.
This is the topic of our next post.
A few weeks ago, one of the members here in Baku was asking me if I think the way she negotiates with people is right or wrong, and when I told her that I don`t believe in right or wrong any more, that she has her own style that works for certain situations, it turned out pretty hard to explain! hope I`ll do better next time.
Challenge yourself, Break your “the other”,
Alex
Well, actually, we all are 🙂
In this witty talk, Amber makes the case that technology is an extension of our humanity, and talks about the new sapiens, Cyborg Sapiens.
Personally, I know I`m hopelessly hooked in to the matrix, so hopelessly in fact that my hope lies in never escaping the digital world I`m part of, and that to some extension, has become part of me.
The phrase I like most in this talk is that technology, the tools we currently use, have for the first time become an extension of our minds instead of our bodies.
Well, books were also an extension of the mind, but still, never in such a way that a mere simple chat-room can transcend space and time.
All the best,
Alex
If you follow your heart, trust your instinct, free your genius, be audacious, don’t listen to what other people say and use your talent to better this planet we all share through whatever media may be – you are my example of human success. Because we are all artists. You may not dance, or act or paint but you cook, you decorate, you host. There an art in everything you do. It’s discipline, curiosity, challenge, the quest for beauty, balance and truth. It’s a constant interpretation of the world around us through our individual eyes.
Natasha Tsakos
Umbrellas
The “Umbrellas” have been created by a Greek sculptor, George Zoggolopoulos (1903 – 2004). He avoided media and when he was asked why, he answered: “What I had to say, I said it by working hard.”
The “Umbrellas” are made of stainless steel and compose a piece of art that was set on the waterfront of Thessaloníki in 1997, when the second biggest city in Greece, was the cultural capital of Europe. They reach the height of 13 meters. At night they are lit by narrow angle spot-lights that, at height of 9 meters, embrace only the umbrellas… an effect that makes them look as if they are levitating in the night sky…
George Zoggolopoulos always cared a lot about the surrounding of his sculptures. He was very pleased by the spot his “Umbrellas” were placed on. The open horizon and changing weather conditions make them look very poetic.
He also reveals that “there is a rhythm in the way the columns and umbrellas are situated, there is a composition and some things have to do with numbers. People have to see it many times until they imagine or notice that…”
Post inspired by: “http://bordiniuc.com/creativity-2/suspend-your-disbeliefs/”
Thank you Dani!
Or how society tells men how we should behave.
Tony makes a really nice case of de-constructing how I, and maybe you, in some ways, were brought up by social pressure to be, as “Men”.
I remember hearing when I was growing up that the army makes a man out of you, or the whole ” Like a girl ” analogies :)).
I think many of the paradigms of the “Man Box” belong to the past, at least for me.
What do you think?
Alex out
The other day I randomly came over this pretty amazing tool by Google which manages to show us what the whole world has been concerned about in 2010 (at least on the internet).
This Youtube movie shows the wrap-up:
But if you are a geek like me, you can also check out the more detailed, yet very simple to digest, analysis over here:
http://www.google.com/intl/en/press/zeitgeist2010/
In other news, Facebook just topped google.com as the most visited site in the US, which is pretty amazing at any standard! and to think facebook is only 6 years old… wow.
All the best,
Alex
One lovely August day, I pick up this book from a table in the apartment I was living in back then called “The Zahir”, by Coelho. I read the first 90 pages in the first week or so, then went to India, after which I managed to read another 40 50 pages in the following months. In case you are wondering, that is not my normal reading speed, but at the time the spirit of the book did not speak to me that strongly, so I was reading it up on and off, mostly when Internet was not with me :).
About one week back, I picked it back up, now I`m at around 300 and will be finishing it soon. This is not going to be a post about the main theme of the book, what I think and feel about that, even though it deserves it, but about a short paragraph that took me by surprise, since it connects to the understanding of society I`ve also built for myself along the years. Here it goes:
The all-powerful Zahir seemed to be born with every human being and to gain full strength in childhood, imposing rules that would thereafter always be respected:
People who are different are dangerous; they belong to another tribe; they want our lands and our women.
We must marry, we are authorised to take possession of another person, body and soul.
We must do jobs we detest because we are part of an organised society, and if everyone did what they wanted to do, the world would come to a standstill.
We must buy jewellery; it identifies us with our tribe, just as body-piercing identifies those of a different tribe.
We must be amusing at all times and sneer at those who express their real feelings; it`s dangerous for a tribe to allow its members to show their feelings.
We must at all costs avoid saying “No” because people prefer those who always say “Yes”, and this allows us to survive in hostile teritory.
What other people think is more important than what we feel.
Never make a fuss, it might attract the attention of an enemy tribe.
If you behave differently, you will be expelled from the tribe because you could infect others and destroy something that was extremely difficult to organise in the first place.
We must always consider the look of our new cave, and if we don`t have a clear idea of our own, then we must call in a decorator who will do his best to show others what good taste we have.
We must eat three meals a day, even if we`re not hungry, and when we fail to fit the current ideal of beauty we must fast, even if we`re starving.
We must dress according to the dictates of fashion, make love whether we feel like it or not, kill in the name of out country`s frontiers, wish time away so that retirement comes more quickly, elect politicians, complain about the cost of living, change our hairstyle, criticise anyone who is different, go to a religious service on Sunday, Saturday or Friday, depending on our religion, and there beg forgiveness for our sins and puff ourselves up with pride because we know the truth and despise the other tribe, who worship a false god.
Our children must follow in our footsteps; after all, we are older and know about the world.
We must have a university degree even if we never get a job in the area of knowledge we were forced to study.
We must study things that we will never use, but which someone told us was important to know: algebra, trigonometry, the code of Hammurabi.
We must never make our parents sad, even if this means giving up everything that makes us happy.
We must play music quietly, talk quietly, weep in private, because I am the all-powerful Zahir, who lays down the rules and determines the distance between railway tracks, the meaning of success, the best way to love, the importance of rewards.
End of quote.
Not all of the statements above connect to the Romanian Culture I was born and raised in, or in the Azerbaijani culture I live in, but many people, in different moments through out my life tried to make me fit in some of those categories.
I lived most of my life defying many, if not most of those rules, getting into serious trouble for it sometimes, but never regretting it.
Anyway, I recommend the book, it`s a pretty good read!
All the best,
Alex
The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:
The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.
Crunchy numbers
A helper monkey made this abstract painting, inspired by your stats.
A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 3,900 times in 2010. That’s about 9 full 747s.
In 2010, there were 43 new posts, not bad for the first year! There were 8 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 1,018kb.
The busiest day of the year was November 26th with 165 views. The most popular post that day was My Lesson of 2010: Facing Failure. .
Where did they come from?
The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, mail.yahoo.com, alexnewbeginnings.blogspot.com, alphainventions.com, and haisadansam.blogspot.com.
Some visitors came searching, mostly for matthieu ricard, alex apetrei, patrick awuah on educating leaders, willie smits restores a rainforest, and new horizons 2010 aiesec.
Attractions in 2010
These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.
My Lesson of 2010: Facing Failure. November 2010
24 comments and 1 Like on WordPress.com,
Talking with Alex March 2010
About September 2009
2 comments
New Horizons … Ukraine – One AIESEC April 2010
13 comments
From Passenger to Leader . Day one July 2010
14 comments
Here we go, passing the emotional threshold of a new year.
I`m alone in my apartment in Baku, listening to great music, talking with great people, thinking of life, my choices, my long-term goals, my future and my past, my blog :)).
Dear public diary, for my future me, and for people who care about me, here`s a wrap-up of the important moments in 2010, and, for the first time in my life, my goals for 2011!
Building 2011 starts by looking at 2010, so here it goes:
– My last conference as a part of AIESEC Iasi, back in the day… Perfect ending for my two years and a half journey at the local chapter in AIESEC, left me with a feeling of deep gratitude and accomplishment. For sure the hardest, strongest and most forming experience of my life up until that point. Been to 29 conferences during that time, worked on 3 departments, worked on three projects, lead and managed the Incoming Exchange department for one year, many memories, accomplishments and failures, few dear friends.
– My six month journey to follow my passion and find my place in AIESEC, culminating with being elected as President for AIESEC Azerbaijan (previous post about it here)
– Spent one amazing month in Moldova, working with great people from AIESEC Chisinau, living with Arteom, promoting projects, coaching leders, my first conference chairing experience, running exchange recruitment, damn… I just realized I miss those days a bit. I miss Chisinau!
– Travelled in Ukraine twice, first time to be part of a facilitators team for New Horizons Conference (here and here), and then to be part of AIESEC Odessa for 8 days, working with them and chairing their transition night.
– Arrived in Baku on 27th July, started the truly amazing journey of building and leading AIESEC Azerbaijan. (here). For the first time in my life, started living on my own two feet. Learning to be independent, taking charge of all aspects of my life. I like it.
– Went to the AIESEC International Congress in India. Wow… that experience was soo strong I`m still discovering it, 6 months later :)). I will write a post about it as soon as I know where to start! I miss soo many things, but I`m only going to mention the Rickshaw rides!!!
– Elected two amazing MC members, Crina and Mihai! they arrived in Baku in September.
– Did my best every day to run AIESEC, very challenging, rewarding and all-around amazing experience!
– My father made me cry a bit when he told me he is very proud of me (first time in my life).
– Made my mother feel better when she was down.
– Found someone that can help me achieve a goal I had since I was 15. We will be hearing more about that in 2011, for sure.
– Spent winter Holidays in my new home, Azerbaijan (Home is where the heart is), but away from my family.
– Started learning Azeri and Russian.
All in all, 2010 has been, without a doubt, the best year of my life. That being said, I believe 2011 will be even better! To help make that clearer, and more measurable,
Here are the main goals I want to achieve in 2011,
goals that I know will make me a better person. I will succeed in some of them, maybe most of them, hopefully all of them, but in the end, what matters is the journey, and giving my best:
1. Learn how to cook complicated food. The benchmark for ” Complicated ” will be “Sarmale“, “Bors” , “Pui la cuptor“, “Supa de rosii“, “Supa de galuste“. Both my English readers and Romanian readers can enjoy photos of each of the dishes by clicking on the name :).
2. Learn conversational Azeri and Russian. I`m at about 80 words in Azeri now, and 20 in Russian. The goal, would be about 1000 – 2000 each. Need to make a system to work on this!
3. Learn Tango. Nothing fancy, I just want to be able to dance one song, from start till end, without any mistakes :). We will go on to win competitions at a global level in 2012. :))))))
4. Visit 10 countries. They don`t have to be NEW countries. Marcel Proust said: “The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.”
5. Love and be loved.
6. I’ve decided I want to blog more. I will be posting on this blog once a day for all of 2011. I know it won’t be easy, but it might be fun, inspiring, awesome and wonderful. If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.
7. Lead AIESEC Azerbaijan as MCP 11.12 towards being the number one AIESEC country in Caucasus, delivering both quality and quantity.
8. Save 4000 Euro in a personal account, by the end of the year. I`ve got a few ideas how I can work for it. Time to start building for the future.
9. Get in Shape. End goal is 80 kg by the end of next year.
10. Read / listen to 50 books and keep a record on it. I`m flexible about the kind of books. Starting a Google Docs to keep track now!
In fact, I`m going to use that to keep track of points 2, 4, 8 and 9 too. I also think I`ll make it public at the end of the year, this is a commitment.
Well dear readers, time to go live life, one second at a time, one day at a time, one goal at a time!
6 Hours have passed so far from 2011, and I can tell, this year is going to be legendary 🙂
Alex out!
First of December is Romania`s National Day, and this year, for the first time I might add, I actually went out and celebrated it!
Well, I don`t mean to sound that proactive actually, cause we enjoyed an invitation from Aynur, and from the Romanian Embassy, and we just said yes. Thank you again!
Interesting feeling, I guess until last night I didn`t really connect with my status of Diaspora, so to say. But as time goes by and I get more and more integrated in Azerbaijan, I get to understand Romania better as well.
Anyway, the event was hosted at the Hyatt Hotel and it was was really great! Enjoyed good company, got to meet some interesting new people, the food was not Romanian, but still very good.
I found myself missing sharing a traditional Romanian meal, cooked in Ruginoasa (a place 1 hour from Iasi), the other day. Definitely on my To Do list when I visit Romania.
I also am very aware of the fact that I said “Visit” Romania, and not “Go back To”. I`ll leave you to speculate on that one dear reader :)).
Now, since it was a free day for us (well, free only technically speaking cause I had awesome company meetings), after the whole reception I decided to enjoy a walk alone through the Old City and the Caspian Sea side of Baku. I Seriously need to do this more often. Really helps clear the mind and accept mistakes, make hard decisions, relax, all that essential stuff that keeps us going through the storm.
Now, going down to business and the second part of this post, I would like to thank Mihai for sharing this wonderful Romanian poem with us on his blog a while back, ( http://mihainegru.blogspot.com/2010/11/we-have-time.html ).
I loved this poem. It reminds of some Romanian words of wisdom that shape our culture, which become so much more alive in me whilst everyday I`m unraveling a different culture over here.
Without further ado:
Octavian Paller – We have time
To sleep, to run to the right or left
to regret that we were wrong and be wrong again
to judge others and to absolve ourselves from guilt
we have time to read and write,
to correct what we wrote, to regret what we wrote,
we have time to make plans and not respect them,
we have time to make illusions and stir through their ashes later.
We have time for ambitions and diseases
to blame faith and details,
we have time to watch the clouds, some ads, or a random accident,
we have time to drive away the questions and to postpone the answers
we have time to crush a dream and to reinvent it,
we have time to make friends and to lose them,
we have time to learn our lessons and forget them later
we have time to receive gifts and not understand them.
We have time for all.
It’s just not enough time for a little tenderness.
When we do it, we die.
I learned some things in life that I want to share with you!
I learned that you cannot make someone love you
All you can do is be loved.
The rest … depends on the others.
I learned that how much I might care
others might not care at all.
I learned that it takes years to gain trust
and only a few seconds to lose it.
I learned that it doesn’t matter WHAT you have in life
But WHO you have.
I learned that you can handle and use your charm for about 15 minutes
afterwards though, you’d better know something.
I learned that you should not compare yourself with what others can do better
But what can you do
I learned that it doesn’t matter what happens to people
What matter is what can I do to help
I learned that no matter how you cut
Everything has two sides
I learned that you have to leave the loved ones with warm words
It might be the last time you see them
I learned that you can continue for a long time
After you said you can’t.
I learned that heroes are those who do what it’s needed, when it’s needed
Whatever the consequences
I learned that there are people who love you
But don’t know how to show it
I learned that when I’m upset, I have THE RIGHT to be upset
But I don’t have the right to be mean
I learned that true friendship continues to exist even at long distance
And this also goes for true love
I learned that if someone does not love you as you want
It does not mean he does not love you with all his heart.
I learned that no matter how good a friend is
He will hurt you from time to time
And you must forgive him for that.
I learned that it’s not always enough to be forgiven by others
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself
I learned that no matter how much you suffer,
The world will not stop running because of your pain.
I learned that the past and circumstances may influence your personality
But YOU are responsible for what you become
I learned that if two people argue, that doesn’t mean that they do not love each other
And the fact that there’s no arguing does not prove that they love each other.
I learned that sometimes you have to put the person first
And his actions
I learned that two people can look to the same thing
And see something totally different
I learned that regardless of the consequences
Those who are honest with themselves get farther in life
I learned that your life can be changed in a few hours
By people who do not know you.
I learned that when you think you’ve got nothing to give
When a friend calls, you’ll find the strength to help.
I learned that writing
and talking
Can soothe the soul pain
I learned that people you care most
Are taken away too quickly …
I learned that it is too hard to figure
Where to draw the line between being nice, not to hurt people and to support your opinions.
I learned to love
To be loved.
Leader in life 